Country Family Robinson

Miami Valley Hospital and Child Birth Classes

2009-11-25T21:45:00.000-05:00

Well, we have successfully finished our Child Birth Classes. Wasn't as bad as I thought. There really wasn't as much 'participation' as I thought there would be. We did practice the breathing part - and that was a bit weird (Tim couldn't coach without laughing - which made me start laughing). I seriously don't think I will be 'panting' during the labor. Whenever I have pain, or anything where I start stressing - I take deep calming breaths. 'Panting' makes me have panic attacks - so that will probably be out. We didn't practice the different 'positions' just pretty much talked about them, which was fine I guess. I think my body will tell me the best way to be - as it usually does for any other pains I tend to have. Not to mention - I am all about an epidural when the pain gets too much.

However, I do have to take a moment and give Hubby the gold star for the weekend. He really did pay attention, and learn a lot. Now - whether he remembers it when the time comes, that is a different story. On Sunday (we took the weekend class) they had a review first thing - and even though he didn't answer in front of the class - he would answer to me, and he was spot on for most of it. Then, in the afternoon, we had a 'Labor Rehearsal' where there were 12 different cards with different parts of labor and delivery on them, and it asked you questions like....where would you be right now, what should you do, what is happening, etc. Again, Tim was pretty much on target for it. It made me feel better knowing that he really did pay attention during the class. Lord knows I probably won't remember most of it when the contractions start!

Not only did we have the class, but we learned a lot about the hospital, their processes, and the different rooms. We took a tour to see the different rooms, and talk about what goes on, what you can do, etc. I think we definitely made a good choice to stick with Miami Valley. I probably wouldn't have picked somewhere else - since my Dr. only delivers at MVH, but I feel that this is the best in the area - with the NICU, PICU, and nursing staff - overall I was impressed.

Something I am extremely happy about is the way they handle delivery, and the important first few hours after. Miami Vally has done some studies - along with other hospitals- and found that treating the new mothers, babies, and dads as a whole, and not just patients makes things work much better. Also, they try to do everything there in the delivery room and not separate mom and baby more than needed. The told us that the first 2 hours after delivery is very important for regulating babies body temperature, breastfeeding, starting the 'healing process' with mom, and just general bonding time for the new family. They said that a majority of that first two hours are done 'skin to skin' which means the baby is pretty much in a diaper and hat - on mom's chest, and they are both covered in blankets. The nurse said that Mom's body adjusts to whatever temperature the baby needs to regulate its temperature. Plus, the baby will smell the milk, and help latch on better when you start to breastfeed.

The only downside I see in the whole delivery process at MVH is for our family. With the important time right after delivery, this means it will be about 2 hours after delivery before our family will be able to see us. The nurse did kind of explain it in a good way. The mom and dad just got running a marathon (labor) and they aren't able to enjoy there prize (baby) with it being passed around the room. If the family were to come into the room right after delivery - once they take their pictures, take turns holding, and fawn over the baby - he will be tired, fussy, and it would be harder to feed. Breastfeeding is very important to us, so we want to do everything we can to try to make the whole thing easier. I hope our family will understand, and give us that needed time together, and then they can visit once we are settled in the 'after' room. Not to mention that I will pretty much be naked anyway - so that would not be a good time to have extended family in the room.

We decided that my mom, and Tim's mom are going to be in the delivery room for the birth. My mom - because she is my mom, and Tim's mom because she has been there for him through the whole thing. They have always had a close relationship, and she was the only one he could really talk to when we were doing all the fertility treatments. I could tell that Tim wanted his mom there - but didn't want me to be uncomfortable so I thought it would be good to have her there as support for Tim.. Not to mention - both of them are nurses, so they know medical stuff, and would 'blend into the background' if things get a bit out of hand, or to just let Tim and I do what we need to do to get through everything. My cousin will be there also - she is like a little sister to me and Tim - and she is on camera detail. However, once the baby is born, my mom and Tim's mom will #1 want to take a break and #2 want to celebrate with the rest of the family in the waiting room or on the phones. Tim's mom always has her camera, so she will be able to share some pictures with the waiting room until we are settled and ready to have guests come visit.

So, that was a very full weekend, and Monday came WAY too soon. Now we are working on Christmas lists, Thanksgiving, and our Caring for your New Born class in December. It is now 9:45 pm, and I am pooped. Gotta get up early in the morning and get Tim off to his 5K run, and go get my Thanksgiving Day ads to prepare for our shopping trip on Friday.

29 weeks, Baby Shower #1 and some fears!!

2009-10-25T14:45:00.005-04:00

Busy...busy...busy...Girl. Haven't been updating like I should - by the time I get home and get my feet up, I am nearly falling asleep. So I will try to recap what has been going on the last few weeks.

Dr Appointments @ 29 weeks: Well, had a Doctor appointment on October 22nd. I was 28 weeks 6 days. The doctor walks in and says.....hmmmm 7 lbs huh. I had gained 7 lbs in 4 weeks. I was a bit bummed. He didn't want me to gain more than 15 for the entire pregnancy - and I am up to 13 according to his measurements. One thing I have noticed the last 2 weeks (which I told him) I am bouncing between weights. I am +5 lbs one day, and -5 lbs the next. It is crazy!! Anyway, I have felt VERY hungry recently, so I think I am going to try and start packing some snacks to eat during the day and hopefully keep from pigging out at supper. Also, when he was measuring me, I am suppose to be between 28 and 29 cm - and I was 32 cm !!! Which means that I may be having a big baby - not a surprise, but they are going to watch me. If I continue to measure big, they will do an ultrasound to check the size and make sure everything is OK. I am really hoping to have 'normal' size baby, but doubt I will get it. With the big babies in my family - hubby's size - and other things against us, sounds like we will be having a big - or long- baby. here is a picture of me at 29 weeks, and after my shower....so I was pooped!

Cramer/Brown Shower 10-24-2009: My side of the family had our baby shower yesterday. It was very cute. They took the farm theme for the nursery and ran with it. I loved it! There was a cute hand made cake, clothesline, and we even drank out of Mason Jars!! I am not a very good gift receiver, or at being the center of attention. This is very awkward when the shower is being thrown for you!! I am use to being the one in the back making sure everyone else is taken care of, pouring drinks, etc - so it was a bit weird for me. It was nice to see everyone. Some of the guests I hadn't seen in a while, so it was nice. I got a lot of good gifts, and a few of the BIG ones I needed. We got our travel system, so we will be able to bring the baby home...which is good, and we got our bedding! So we have the crib, and bedding, just waiting on the mattress to complete that part.

This brings us to my recent fears. Other than my baby being really big - requiring me to go early - but the nursery part is killing me. I'm afraid that we won't get the things we need before the baby is here. I do have 2 more showers, and Christmas, but I am afraid to wait on the big things that have to be ordered - especially since I am due 2 weeks after Christmas. Typically shipping takes 2 weeks, and then we have to put it together. I still don't have a dresser - so I can't put clothes away. I don't have a changing table yet, so I can't even use that for clothes either. For those of you that don't know, I am a planner, and to have things sitting in bags and totes on the floor is killing me. Tim keeps telling me that it will be OK, and that we will purchase the few big things we need after our showers to relieve my fears, and then others can get me the little stuff. I am just freaking right now - as usual - and will get over it. I am sure things will take care of themselves - and there is really no reason for my worry, but I can't help it.

Anyway, I gotta go to the Bengal Barn and watch the game. Yes I am a Bengal Fan, and this season has not been good for my blood pressure - but that is for another blog!!

Later!

♥ Jessica & Brady ♥

Baby loves and worries....

2009-10-02T21:00:00.003-04:00

Well, recently had my Dr. Appt - I am measuring 28 CM at 25 weeks. Dr was very happy with everything, and the heartbeat was strong. Well, the last few days, Brady (aka little bean) hasn't been kicking like he was. So this, of course, had me worried. I know babies have their slow days, but I just can't help but to worry. -

~~Back Story: My Aunt lost her son at 38 weeks. She went in to see if she could be induced (her 4th baby) and was having less than normal movements. the went to check the heartbeat, and it was gone. I went to the hospital with my mom, aunts, uncles, and grandparents to be with her. That was one of the worst days of my life. Holding the beautiful little baby that will never be with us again. My Aunt was one of those mothers that followed everything to the letter. No caffeine (even chocolate) little sugar, - all the stuff that they say you should, and shouldn't do - she was on top of it, and still lost her little one. We had a funeral and a burial for the little angel, and still think of him as part of the family. Our family angel that looks over us every day.

So, for that reason, I get a little worried when I don't have any movement. I went from having the jumpy belly - where you could actually see my belly moving, to next to nothing, but maybe a kick every5 hours. I am sure the kicks will get more and more the farther along I get, but that will be fine. Brady has kept me up at night with the kicks, but it is alright. Every kick reminds me to be thankful.

Anyway, Brady has picked up in the movement area, so hopefully he will keep it up. I am trying not to worry, but it is hard sometimes.

Well, the registries are done- at least as done as I am going to get them. I am sure I didn't register for everything I needed, but with all the experienced mommies out there, I am sure they will have me covered. Two of the people I work with have brought me their baby boy clothes - total of 5 trash bags full. Once of the babies was born in April, and the other was born in October. The April baby was bigger, while the October was small, so I have a nice mixture of clothes to separate. I need to wash and separate all the clothes, but have no dresser to put them away, so I am waiting on that. Killing me, but I am trying.

In closing - since I haven't posted a pic in a while, I thought I should. This was at 25 weeks, and after a big dinner at the Lodge. I stuffed myself, and it was good. So Brady was at his limits, and was not a happy camper to share the room in there with my full belly.

Well, I'm pooped, and going to go to bed soon. Tim has a Flag Football Game in the morning, and a house warming party later that day. So we will be busy.

G'Night

♥ J & Brady ♥

Updates...

2009-09-16T20:17:00.003-04:00

Sorry I haven't been on recently. We are getting into the busy time of the season with my family, plus I have been stressing about this whole Baby Registry thing. Not to mention, Tim is back in school, playing Flag Football with the church, and the Masonic Lodge has started up, so we got that too.

Anyway, the whole baby registry thing is making me pull my hair out. I decided to register at Babies R' Us, Target, and Walmart. That way, I can hit all the different price ranges, areas, etc. Well, furniture was my biggest worry. I wanted something that was sturdy, good quality, but not expensive. Asking a bunch I know. Well, Babies R Us had good quality, but I thought it was over priced. So I went to Target. The only thing is, Target only has 2 cribs on the floor - which have been cut in half so they are no wider than a clothes basket - and they are up on a shelf. So the only resolution is online. I got into reading the Reviews - which has mixed info. Some people hate it, say the furniture is crap, and falls apart. Others say that they have used it for all 3 kids. well, 2 weeks later - I finally pick a color and group....lo and behold - it is unavailable the next day...GAH!! So I am still trying to fix that issue. Plus, Target doesn't have a lot of baby stuff in store - it is all online. So a majority of the stuff would have to be bought online. Which is OK for most - but I have family who do not even have computers, let alone purchase online. So I figured the big stuff, someone would get online, and the rest could be worked with in person. So I start a baby registry at Walmart by the Dayton Mall since we left Babies R US at that time. They have the scanner, and a computer for the registry. Well, I decide to go back to the Walmart in Xenia, and I am told that they don't do the registry, you have to do it online. WHAT!!! you are Walmart for goodness sake. First I can't get Maternity stuff there, no body pillows, now no baby registry at certain stores. Again - some of my family do not own computers....HELLO!!!

So, I am afraid that Babies R Us may win out. Hopefully those in our family who cannot drive to the Dayton Mall, and do not have computers, will decide what to purchase, and if I get duplicates - so be it. I will deal with the returns later. I was going to go to Babies R Us today after work, but due to major traffic back ups, I decided to go home. Looks like I will be getting up Saturday Morning and heading to Babies R Us while Tim is running a 10K in Fairborn, then meeting him @ the football game. I am ready for this part to be done! It wasn't this hard when I registered for the wedding....sheesh!

I haven't posted any belly pics yet - every time I think about it, I have already gotten into comfy clothes, so the pics wouldn't be very good. By the way, Tim finally felt the baby kick. We were laying in bed, and I laid in my back to stretch, and Brady was doing the conga in there. So I grabbed Tim's hand and put it on my belly. What does he say....'Is that the baby?'..ahhhh...yes it is the baby. what else would it be? Sheesh! It did kinda make him take notice a bit more. Not to say he hasn't been touching the belly and stuff, but he tends to do it more now, and doing a little belly shake to see if he will kick again. It is cute, and I am loving it.

Anyway, just thought I would update everyone. We are doing good, growing, and doing great. I am sure I will be on here more once the registry thing is over.

Thanks
♥ J & Brady ♥

Been Away, Big News, and Help Request.

2009-09-02T20:20:00.004-04:00

Sorry I have been gone for so long. We have been working around the house to get ready for carpet. We finally got it installed last week, so now I have been working on getting things back together. The carpet looks great. My FIL and Hubby actually decided to paint the ENTIRE first floor, not just the bedrooms, and it looks GREAT!! I am so thankful for my FIL's help.

Now on to the BIG NEWS....For those of you that do not know.....we are having a BOY!!! During the ultrasound, the baby was pointing at it saying...check this out Mommy, this is what you were looking for. And everyone kept asking me if I was worried that the baby would be modest.....Huh - not Tim's Kid. I will be lucky to keep clothes on this baby after he is born. So, we are EXCITED!!! Movements are getting stronger, just wish they would be going on when Tim is home. Seems that the baby doesn't move much when he is home. BTW...First name will be BRADY. Still up in the air with a middle name. **BTW...number at the top is not my social - but thanks for checking**

In regards for my request for help - I am trying to complete the Registry. All you Mommies out there - especially recent ones- can you send me a list of things you couldn't live without, along with things you didn't think to register for - but really needed it. We are going to register at Target, Babies R US, and Walmart. Any ideas would be helpful as I am hoping to get this done within the next 2-3 weeks. My email address is jbrobinson996@verizon.net if your list is pretty detailed, or lengthy. I appricate any tips you can provide to me.

Belly Pic- 20 Weeks 5 Days - taken by my MIL Lil @ her house.

♥ Jessica and Brady ♥

Gone...gone...gone

2009-08-13T21:08:00.006-04:00

Well, it has been a busy week. Our garden is pretty much done. We had a total of 93 pints, and 43 Quarts - which was great. We actually gave away about 25-30 gallons of unbroken beans that we didn't have time to can. I still have 2 tomato plants, but the tomatoes are not ripening like they should, so that is still to go.

Last Sunday Grandma, Mom, and Dad came over and cut corn and start ripping up some of the old carpet. Thankfully Grandma has been cutting corn for about 70 some years, so she is a pro. Towards the end I was cutting with her - but didn't do as good as she did. Guess I got 50 more years of practice to go! Here is a picture of me and Grandma Brown cutting some corn. Not the greatest picture of me, but whatever!

After cutting the corn, Dad started to pull up the carpet in the Dining Room. Mom and Grandma were cleaning up, so I went inside sweep the floor as Dad removed the carpet. Good thing too, cause the floor was NASTY!! there was so much dirt and sand under that carpet - not to mention the stain spots on the back of the carpet. So happy that all of it is going out of the house by the end of the month.

With all the dirt, dust, and crap - I had to keep covered....Don't I look cute....and yes I smiled at the camera...DORK!

Say good bye to the crappy looking floor in the kitchen too!!

Just gotta get the baseboard put back up, and the corner-round : which is the wood that you put around cabinets and stuff to hid the 1/4 inch of space you must leave for expansion/contraction etc. Dad is going to be here tomorrow to help do that and get it done. But this is what it looks like so far.

We also got the nursery carpet and closet doors out, along with the spare room. Those rooms will be painted soon by my FIL and Hubby. Then we will move out the rest of the stuff in our bedroom so that room can be repainted also.

I can't wait for my house to be put back together....but all of this is worth it. Wanna bring Lil Bean home to a clean and safe place in January.

P.S. - I added a poll....vote on if you think Lil Bean is a Boy or Girl!

Night

♥ J & Lil Bean ♥

Houston...We have movement!!!

2009-08-03T21:53:00.004-04:00

Holy Moley!! Someone is blowing bubbles in my belly.

Well, on Satuday, my cousin Sequoya and her boyfriend came over for her birthday, and ate my homemade pizza (birthday girl's wish). After I got done eating, I was sitting around waiting for the others to finish, and all of a sudden - there were bubbles in my belly. I must have had a weird look on my face cause Tim looked at me and asked if I was ok. I said 'Either I am going to be sick, or I just felt the baby move'. Well, I didn't get sick, and the bubble feeling was right below the belly button - right where the doctor said. It was crazy!!

It happened again on Sunday. I was getting ready for church while Tim was in the shower. He got out, I turned around to ask him a question, and it happend again. As before, it caught me off guard but I was glad I felt it. Made me smile! Tim probebly thinks I am going crazy, but its ok. I just can't wait till the baby is big enough for Tim to feel it.

I also relized that I have yet to take a belly picture because to me - all I see is residual flab from the 50 lb weight gain thanks to PCOS. Eventhough I am down 25 lbs, I still feel like I am flabby uptop, and not really 'showing'. Well I talked to some other Mom's online, and they said they felt th same way, but it was just everything moving up, making you pooch out more. Also, I think that because of dealing with the infertility, and the increased chance of miscarriage - I was afraid to take pictures, start a journal, or any of that stuff because I didn't know how I would react to it in the event I lost the baby. I know that is morbid - but it is a fact that you must face - especially for pregnancy after infertility.

So, since I am now 17 weeks - I thought I had better take a picture. I refuse to post bare-belly pics for personal reasons: #1 I think bare pregnant bellies look weird and freak me out just a bit and #2 a PCOS side effect is increased hair growth - so my belly is a bit fuzzy. Sorry for the TMI, but it is a fact. Anyway, Tim took the picture - which he isn't the greatest with the camara - but hopefully he will get better...LOL.

I have decided that I will definitly be switching to Maternity Jeans next weekend. While we were sitting in church, I realized just how big my belly was getting, and how regular jeans are not as flexable as my work pants are.

Well, Tim is home, and out of the shower - so it is time to go to bed.

G'night
♥ J & Lil Bean ♥

Blog Changes

2009-08-01T09:10:00.002-04:00

FYI...I have changed they way my comments are posted on the blog. I have missed comments here and there - so I have turned on the setting that does not post the comment until I have approved it. Sorry if this is a bit weird, but I want to make sure I catch everyone's comments.

Thanks
♥ J & Lil Bean ♥

Dr Appointment Updates

2009-07-30T20:21:00.002-04:00

Well, had my Dr. Appointment today. And I just have one question....why is it that during the day I pee a zillion times, pretty much every 2 hours, but when I have to give a 'sample' I dry up completely. SHEESH! Anyway, got into the room, and the Dr. came in. He looked at my chart and said that I had passed the 3 hr glucose test. YEA!! No meds or anything crazy like that needed.

He said he was very glad about my weight. With as much as I gained with PCOS, he is only estimating 10-15 lb gain. He said it may even be the end of my 2nd trimester before I start moving up the scale. He doesn't want me to gain a lot, but the baby will help my body determine how much I should gain. It was quite funny when I had asked him about not gaining anything, but 'parts' of me are getting smaller. He said that babies are the worlds best parasites - cause they feed on the stored fats in your body. Since I have the extra fat stored from PCOS, I got plenty for the baby to feed on - EAT UP!! After the question and answer, he had me lay back and he was poking my belly a bit, then said that my uterus size is right on track,

After the poking, I thought he was done. But then he must have heard my silent prayer - cause out came the doppler. ::Sigh:: He got the heart beat really quick. Beating strong- my little washing machine- and he said the beats were strong and even. Very pleased with everything.

So, I cleaned up, and we set the date for the Growth and Anatomy scan (boy?/girl?) and my next Dr. Appointment for the same date - August 27th. 4 more weeks, and I will {{Hopefully}} find out what we are having - as long as the baby works with us. I will be getting the Scan on DVD, so I will be able to post the video once we get home. VERY EXCITING!!! We can't wait. Tim is taking the day off and going to go with me. The appointment is early morning, so we are going to go to the 2 appointments, and then we both have chiropractor appointments that afternoon. Busy Day!

Anyway, thank you to everyone for their prayers regarding the Glucose Test. I was very nervous about it, but turns out everything is fine. Just hope that the same will be said when I take the tests over again in 8-10 weeks (like a normal person).

♥ J & Lil Bean ♥

First Baby-ish Gift from my MIL

2009-07-30T19:53:00.006-04:00

**Sorry, was going to do this last night, but went to dinner at my parents house with my SIL and Nephew.**

My MIL, Pam (Hubby's Mom) said that she wanted to drop off the gifts she got us when she was on vacation back in June. She said that she kept forgetting to get them to us. Hubby and I were at dinner, and then going to the grocery, so MIL dropped it off at the house. When we got home, we had a little bundle of gifts waiting for us.

Turns out, right next to the resort my MIL was staying at was a 'build a bear' type place, and she had to go and check it out.The bear she made was very cute. It has jeans, tennis shoes, and has a T-shirt that says 'Born to Love Grandma'. MIL said that there is a purple star in with the stuffing that is her 'wish' for the baby. Purple is her favorite color, so that is why she chose it.

I love it. She named it Little Bean, and it even has a birth certificate that has the name on it.

She made the bear a little bracelet that says Little Bean on it.
In the 'cradle' that comes with it - she had added 2 CDs of baby lulibies, a 'Camo' onesie, a Bengal Bib, and a yellow blanket with Winnie the Pooh on it. There was also a Gray long sleeve shirt that said 'Oh Baby' on it for me.

Very cute indeed. I can already tell that this baby is going to be SPOILED!!! As I was looking at everything, I was very squeeful.

I can just imagine how I will be at the babyshower - it is going to be sickening. LOL.

♥ J & Lil Bean ♥

Garden Updates!!

2009-07-28T21:43:00.004-04:00

Well, what can I say...we have been pretty blessed this year with the garden. We just did our 3rd pick of Green Beans - and god somewhere around 33 gallons of un-snapped beans between everyone. We got beans coming from all sides. Never have we had such a harvest....and they are still blooming. I am running out of jars at this point. We usually can the pints, cause that is all Tim and I need, but we canned some quarts too for company, reunions, etc. However, I am now out of pint jars - mom is out too, and we are going to be canning the rest in quarts unless I can find a place to sell them off. I am very thankful for the amount that has came from the garden...and especially thankful for my mom and Grandma Brown - who have been doing all the canning. Per Grandma B - I am not allowed to do any of the canning as my lids will not seal (wives tale). However, when she was pregnant - none of hers sealed. Better be safe not sorry. Give Grandma something to do during the day, and my mom takes over if there is any left. Mom mainly does the picking, and all 3 of us snap. I can pretty much only snap and clean - that's it.

A few days back, we had a good rain (which we needed) however, the wind blew so hard that it knocked my corn to the ground. I only had about 15-20 stalks still standing. I was crushed (no pun intended) cause one of my fav foods is Sweetcorn on the Cob - I can just eat that as a meal by itself. It looked like someone drove their car over my corn - laying pretty much flat. Well, I prayed - and the sun came out. Most of th stalks are back upright- there is a section in the middle that is still laying down a bit, but it looks like the ears are filling out, so I am starting to feel good about it. We will see how they look in a few weeks when they are ready. I can't wait!!

Well, it is close to bed time, and I am pooped. I will post another blog tomorrow - my MIL brought us the gifts she has been saving for us - congrats on the baby gifts - so I had a big SQUEEFUL Mommy Moment! Can't wait to share pictures about it.

G'night

♥ J & Lil Bean ♥

Room Updates, Bad Dreams and my Glucose Fail

2009-07-27T20:58:00.004-04:00

Well, on the house front - the rooms are empty!! WHOOT!!! But everything is now in the basement, including the spare room bed. So the house looks a bit empty - like we were getting ready to move. We are hoping Dad will come out within the next few weeks to put the wood in the Dining and Kitchen rooms, and start tearing out the carpet in the bedrooms. While we were at Lowes getting the boards that will go where the carpet was in the dining room to level the floor with the existing kitchen floor. Gotta have a pretty level area to but the wood down. While we were at Lowes, we decided to re-paint the bedrooms while they are empty. However, just being in Lowes paint center, flooring center, anywhere in Lowes really, makes me start to feel sick. Luckily Hubby called his Dad, and asked if he would come in an paint. YEA!! He said he would paint one room at a time - which is good so I don't get too much in fumes. We will have the ceiling fans on in the rooms, and just have him open the windows and close the door when he leaves - that way we can keep the fumes going out. May even put fan in the window, but we will see. I am just thankful that he agreed to do it. It will keep me out of the room and away from the fumes.

I have also been having some bad dreams recently. Mostly they are weird, and don't really make much sense. I have had a few where my closest friend, Brooke, went with me to a Dr. appointment, but then some guys attempted to kidnap her from my car when we were driving home. I think it was the fact that I haven't gotten to talk to her, or hang out with her for a while that prompted the dreams. Since we move out of town, it has gotten harder and harder to get together. Especially since it is about 40 minutes between our houses. Not to mention, with my 'no-baby-blues' I spent a lot of time to myself, and hiding in the house.

Well, today was a doosie. To start with, the only dreams I have ever had about the baby was what we were having, and that there would be 2 (boy and a girl by the way). But today was BAD. I had a dream that I lost the baby. I was at my parents house, and was getting into the shower - and noticed some spotting. So I run into the kitchen (still buck naked) and start freaking out asking Mom (nurse) what to do. She said that they had to get the baby out - So I start freaking out again saying that nothing is wrong with the baby, and I just need to go to the doctor. So I decide to go ahead and take a shower, but as I was stepping in, I sneezed. Now, without going into too much detail, think of how it looks if you turn a ketchup bottle upside down, and squeeze hard and fast. Yea, pretty gross, and really freaked me out. This is when I woke up. My heart was racing, and I was breathing fast - starts of a full blown panic attack. I haven't had one in a few years, but was able to calm down before things got out of hand. Unfortunately Tim was already out of bed, and it was about 20 minutes before my alarm went off, so he wasn't there in the bed with me. but after a few calm breaths, I was OK. It still bothered me a little, but I am trying to put it behind me. I will definitely be asking the Dr. to locate the heartbeat if he doesn't do it on his own, just to put my mind at ease.

On top of that, this morning I got a call from the Dr's office. So last week, at my nurse meeting, I agreed to do the 1 hour glucose test. Because of my PCOS, I have an increased chance of Gestational Diabetes. So to be safe, they tested me early, to try and head off any issues. Well, the results came back, and I failed. So tomorrow I am taking the dreaded 3 hour test. I have to fast from 7:30 pm until test time at 7:30 am. Now, for those of you that have been following along, I am notorious for getting a bit fuzzy when I get my blood drawn. Well, 12 hrs of fasting, 1 bottle of sugar drink, and a blood draw every hour for 3 hours, it is going to be a trial tomorrow. Please pray for me that I don't A) throw up - cause I will have to come back and do it again another day and B) not pass out from lack of food, and 3 individual blood draws. Hopefully they will have my test results by Thursday afternoon when I go to see the Dr. I am a bit anxious, so I can't wait until the results come in. If the levels are still too high, they may put me back on the Met, and I would have to test my own blood sugar. But I am just trying to get tomorrow done, then worry about the results.

Anyway, gotta go to bed now cause I gotta get up earlier than normal to make it to the lab early enough.

G'night
♥ Jessica & Lil Bean ♥

Sorry no posts recently.

2009-07-19T21:07:00.003-04:00

Sorry that I haven't posted in a while. We are preparing for my vacation the end of August. I am off for 7 days - where we are getting carpet installed THROUGHOUT the house....yes, the WHOLE UP STAIRS. So, needless to say I have been trying to get the nursery cleaned out (was storing stuff from the basement overhaul that we never moved back down stairs...aka...junk) and get the non-essential stuff packed up so we can rip carpet out in a few weekends from now. We are also getting the laminate flooring in the Kitchen/Dining room area, so we went and picked that out - and it is sitting in the Spare Room. Tim ripped out the remaining baseboard heaters, and we are going to cut out the thermostats that went with them the same day we rip the carpet up. We will also patch the holes from wire, replace the missing baseboard, and touch up paint while the carpet is up. Well, I won't be doing any of that stuff, except running the sweeper when the carpet and tack strips are removed. No painting for me! We are still trying to decide if we are just going to paint the nursery a cream color - or wait and do a color once we find out what we are having. Oh well, gotta get the rooms cleaned out first. Got quite a few bags to take to good will. Mostly clothes that I will 'Never' be back in - size 2-4 from the modeling days, along with some of the 6-8 that didn't wear when I could fit into them. Some of my 10s I am keeping - just in case I can get back in them after the pregnancy - we will see how PCOS acts after the baby is here. Tim even got rid of some of his T-shirts that he doesn't wear anymore, or are too small. I swear that man has more clothes than I do - most of them were from high school!

Not only are we working inside, but God has been working on the outside. Our garden is GROWING. We have already canned 69 pint jars of green beans, and our sweetcorn will be ready in a few weeks. We have ears starting!! I am so excited....I have been dying for silver queen corn!! Well, I can't really say 'WE' have been canning - since I am not allowed to touch anything when we start to can. I can clean and break the beans, but when it comes to the canning, I am not allowed to touch anything - Grandma's rules. When she was pregnant with my uncle, none of her lids sealed. So, better be safe than sorry - Mom and Grandma have been doing my canning for me. Mom and I are splitting everything from the garden anyway, I just feel like they have been doing all the work. However, Mom said that I have been providing the food and cookies (warm after dinner dessert) so we can call it even.

On the baby front - nothing new. The queasy feeling is getting less - however my appetite is still not back. Still have a few things I can't even think about eating. I haven't gained any weight, however I only have 2 notches on my belt left. Some of you have been asking for Baby Bump Pictures - I'm sorry. I don't want to post belly pictures till it looks like I am pregnant -not just 'fluffy' around the midsection. The bump is still below my belly button, so no pictures until it rises. I'm still tired though. I work for a few hours on stuff, and then have to go sit/lay down cause I am dead on my feet. Makes getting ready for the vacation very hard. I finally get to have my appointment with the nurse this week on Wednesday (even though I will be 15 1/2 weeks preg) for her to go over all the specifics, do's and don'ts, start a birth plan, etc. Should be interesting. I will have a few more questions to ask her this time (TMI-FYI: some help in the #2 department, how to prevent/spot a hemroid before it gets bad, etc). If anyone has some good questions that you think I should ask - post them below!

Well, I gotta get ready for bed - starting another work week tomorrow ::GROAN:: The weekends are just not long enough, and I can't seem to sleep good when I don't have an alarm to wake up to.

G'night
♥ J & Lil Bean ♥

Pregnancy Survey

2009-07-09T21:10:00.003-04:00

I was reading another pregnant blogger MSC from GP and she did a pregnancy survey, so I thought I would do it also.

How far along? 13 1/2 weeks **Sorry had to edit - forgot what week I was on!**
Total weight gain/loss: -5 lbs.
Maternity clothes? They're not a necessity at this point, but I have gotten my friend - Jessica also - all of her Maternity clothes since she is not planning on more babies. I am willing to take anyone elses if they wanna get rid of!!
Stretch marks? One - but don't know if it was from the PCOS 50 lb weight gain. before pregnancy
Sleep: ok, but keep having weird dreams.
Best moment this week: Not been a great week so far - really emotional.
Movement: none really - TMYFYI...would like a little movement in the #2 area!!
Food cravings: french fries - and any food I don't have to cook.
Food aversions (added this!): changes from day to day
Gender: TBD.
Labor Signs: Thank God No!!
Belly Button in or out? In.
What I miss: Not being able to eat anything I want due to sickness.
What I am looking forward to: everything!!
Weekly Wisdom: what?
Milestones: loosened my belt another notch! Thank goodness I lost 20 lbs before pg - got plenty of room!!

Just an update

2009-06-29T19:47:00.002-04:00

I had my last RE appointment with Dr. Bidwell. It was kinda sad in a way - I'm not going to get my bi-weekly peeks at the baby, but on the other hand, Lil Bean is strong enough that he - she - no longer needs the special treatments. I only have a few more days and them I am totally off my meds, and will be on prenatals only. I haven't had any side effects, cramping, or anything, so that is great. Dr did another ultrasound, and showed me that the brain, spine, ribs face, etc are all forming great. He was very pleased with everything. Hopefully this last ultrasound will last me until the BIG one in August/September when we will *hopefully* find out what we are having. I have my first OB/GYN appt this Thursday, so we will see how that goes.

Well, didn't sleep well last night, so I am going to go relax and read a book in bed, then hopefully go to sleep early.

G'night
♥ J & Lil Bean ♥

2009-06-26T18:37:00.002-04:00

Time for the Virtural Girls Night Out (VGNO)

Guys are welcome too!

Our hostess for all the fun is Ann at Ann Again...and Again where we do some great blog hopping, make new friends, and just have some great fun.

Time For Ann's Question: Have you met the love of your life? If so, how did you meet?

Well, Hubby and I met in highschool. He was a Senior and I was a Junior. I was actaully stuck on another guy, who I had been crushing on for years. A guy that was like my adopted brother kept trying to hook me up with Tim, but I thought he was just too goofy. When my crush stood me up for my 17th birthday, I gave in and decided to go out on a date with Tim. I mainly did it to get them off my back....but we have been together ever since. The rest of his senior year, then his 3 years in the army while I finished HS and worked for 2 years. He came home from the Army - we got married - and the rest is history!

Jam's Game wasn't up yet, so I dont have her's to add.

Well, I am off to blog hop. Hopefully I will make it. The Finger Prick I got yesterday @ the dr has bruised my finger tip, so typing is a bit slow, and hard. Not to mention my belly is still a bit upset from lunch.

Have a great night!!

♥ J & Lil Bean ♥

NT Scan update.

2009-06-25T20:31:00.003-04:00

Well, today was my nuchal translucency screening. They use an ultrasound to measure the nuchal fold on the back of the babies neck, the nasal bone, blood flow in the placenta, and baby heartbeat. I got to watch the Lil' Bean dance around for about 20-30 minutes. The Dr. came in later to speak to me. Everything looks good. He wasn't able to see the nasal bone, Lil Bean kept hiding its face. But he didn't think that would be a problem. Heartbeat went down to 161 - which is still in the normal region. They are suppose to provide me with 'Official' results next week, once the blood tests come back also.

I also had to get my finger pricked for a blood sample. Well, it wasn't a prick really, it was a slash!! I didn't watch, but it made a sound like a stapler. IT HURT!!!! Even my fingernail hurt! Not to mention that I had to go back to work and type the rest of the day. You don't relize the amont of keys you hit with your right ring finger until it is hurting! I took the bandaid off when I got home, and it is bruised. It hurts BAD!! I can't wait until it heals. Really cuts down on my typing time and accuracy.

I have some of the pics attached...they aren't as clear as the screens were, but you get the idea.

♥ J & Lil Bean ♥

***btw...number at top - not my social...thanks for asking!***

CUTE LITTLE FEET

FACE-LOOKS KINDA SCARY!

LITTLE HAND WITH 5 LITTLE FINGERS!!!!

Busy Weekend!!

2009-06-22T19:27:00.005-04:00

I was feeling better this weekend, except for the whole nothing sounding good to eat part. Saturday we got up, and had some breakfast and piddled around the house till noon. Then we went on the hunt for a school track or somewhere for me to walk, and Tim to run. The college track we were going to go to was locked up. So we were going to go to the park, but there was a Relay for Life festival going on. So we drove over to the Fairgrounds - they were having tractor pulls. GAH!! so we went to Wilmington HS as a last resort....it was open! yea! So, we did our stretches, got the ear phones in, and took off. Tim was running - of course - and I just walked at a steady pace. I made sure to keep watch on my heart rate and breath. It was pretty hot on the track, but the breeze was blowing, so that helped. I made sure to take a drink every half lap, or more if needed. I had my ipod under one sports bra strap, phone under the other (didn't you know that is why bra's were invented - to hold stuff :) and just went to town. I did 4 laps around the track, and was done. Luckily Tim had done his crazy number of laps running, and was cooling off as I rounded my final lap. Then we walked back to the car, and headed into Sabina to go swimming at my Aunt's pool. The water was nice and cool, and felt good after being in the sun. I was hungery after a while, so we went to the Frosty. The Frosty is a little shop that sells ice cream, and regular meals too. We had supper, then took some ice cream for the ride home.

Sunday we had church, then picked up our new grill. Ours had finally bit the dust, and the burners wouldn't stay lit.

It was Father's day, so they were on sale. We got home, had some lunch, then started putting the grill together...........

Well....Tim put the grill together:

I sat in the shade of the mountaineer and was in charge of the bolts, screws, and instructions.

By the time we were done, we were both sweaty, and REALLY HOT!! So, off to Aunt Debbie's house we go. My cousin Dawn and her family came over too and we had a mini pool party. We hung out for a while, then went home and cooked on the new grill. It was great.

All -n- All it was a good weekend. Didn't get as much rest as I wanted, so I was super tired today. Now just gotta work, and wait for my next Dr appointments on Thursday.

Have a great week

♥ J & Lil Bean ♥

Under construction

2009-06-20T21:36:00.002-04:00

Sorry about the weird mess on the blog. I am trying to convert the templete to 3 columns. Not working so well, but I am trying. If anyone has been able to convert to a blog with side bars on both sides - please share!!

♥ J & Lil Bean ♥

Tagged!

2009-06-20T09:31:00.005-04:00

Well, I have been tagged by Michelle at Lollypops and Lizards.

Here's the rules!
1) Go to your photo files…Select the 6th photo folder
2) Select the 6th photo in that folder
3) Post that photo along with the story behind it.
4) Then challenge 5 blog friends to do the same!

My picture is of the framed copy of Sequoya's Graduation Announcement I did this year. For those of you that don't know- Sequoya is my cousin - but could pass as my sister. We joke that she is the daughter my mom never had! Very athletic, and just crazy fun to be with. I on the other hand, was just as athletic as her mom, my mom's sister, Aunt Debbie. Needless to say - we suck!!

So, I am tagging:

Stacey - The Skinny Diaries

Ali - Blessed Country Mom

MzzLily- Blahwg

Alicia - YaYa Stuff

Charmine - My Favorites

♥ J & Lil Bean ♥

VGNO 6/19/09

2009-06-19T21:15:00.003-04:00

Time for the Virtural Girls Night Out (VGNO)

Guys are welcome too!

Our hostess for all the fun is Ann at Ann Again...and Again where we do some great blog hopping, make new friends, and just have some great fun.

Time For Ann's Question:

Has anyone ever told you you looked like someone famous? Unfortunitly no - no famous looks here.

Time For Jam's Game:

Well, it was Salsa today - Jam's Sister who is taking care of her blog while she is gone. She had the question:

Which Disney character are you?

I think I would be :

A reliable Sally.

Have a great night!!

♥ J & Lil Bean ♥

Sorry I've been away....

2009-06-17T20:05:00.002-04:00

I apologize for the lack of blogging recently. I have spent a lot of time on the couch after work - and all weekend. Barely able to even sit up, let alone type on the computer. The morning sickness kicked into high gear last Thursday. Since then, it has been a battle finding things I can eat. I was eating an egg and a glass of milk for breakfast - until Friday morning. Now I can't even stand the smell of them cooking. So I have been making rounds to different cereals to see if any of them go down without making me sick. It is coco puffs tomorrow. Going to try w/milk - if not any good, then may try dry. We will see how it goes. It is quite weird - I can eat at Longhorn - but can't eat at home. Gah! this is crazy. We are having chicken and Mac-N-Cheese tonight - even though the grill just died - and I'm trying to cook 2 chicken breasts in the toaster oven thing! This is one thing that I have been able to eat. Tim just shakes his head.

On another weird food front....I went to Meijer today after work - and they had the candy I wanted. It was 5 for $6 - and it is the big boxes like you got at the movie theater. Sweetarts, Gobstoppers, and Runts.....SQUEE!! Couldn't make up my mind, so I will keep them at my desk. They will last a while. I will be only eating a few pieces at a time - to balance out all the water I am drinking.

Anyway, supper is ready, so I gotta go.

Hope everyone has a great night

♥ J & Lil Bean ♥

Cardboard Testimonies @ Xenia Naz, June 7, 2009

2009-06-13T10:01:00.001-04:00

I just found out that the Cardboard Testimonies done at my church last sunday were posted on YouTube. Thought I would share. The first one is by our Pastor, who I had no idea that they had fought the same infertility battle that we did, only for much, much longer. So, I couldn'd see for about 5 minutes from crying....luckily my M-I-L had a tissue. I gotta get some put in my purse! My F-I-L is in the video. He is the really tall one (duh) with a peach colored polo on.

Enjoy.
J

Doctors, doctors, and doctors

2009-06-11T21:25:00.002-04:00

Well, Tim and I both had Dr appointments today. I had an ultrasound with Dr. Bidwell -which started 45 minutes late!. We are 9 weeks and 5 days today. Lil Bean has arms, legs, and likes to 'SHAKE IT!!' The baby would dance around for a bit, then take a break, then start dancing again. It was sooooo cute. We could see the little arms just going to town. Tim said that Lil Bean has a nugget for a head.....if I wasn't getting probed, I would have smacked him. The Dr. just laughed. I explained to Tim that their head is big right now, and that it will even out. All in all, everything looks great!! Next week I go down to one Metformin a day. Following week stop Prometrium, and Metformin will stop week after that. So within 3 weeks, I will be off all meds, and only taking prenatal vitamins. So please pray for Lil Bean and I that we continue to be safe and grow strong. I'm nervous about going off meds, but others have done the same thing with no problems. My next Bidwell appt is in 2 weeks 6/25/09, and I also have a 'special scan' that morning to see if there is downs, or other syndromes/disorders to prepare for. Dr said that some parents decide to terminate if there are negative results - however that is not an option for us. If I am meant to have a special needs child, I will do so. The test will, for us, help us plan for the future - special needs or not. I will also be released to my regular OB/GYN - Dr. Morales in July since Lil Bean is going strong.
Here's some pics:

Lil Bean

Lil Bean with heartbeat - 171 BPM

Lil Bean close up. Can't really tell, but the arms were just going to town!

As for Tim, we went to a Orthopedic Surgeon that specializes in lower arm injuries. It just so happens he is in Cincinnati - close to the Kentucky Border.

{{Recap}} Dad and Tim were riding go carts around our property in 2006. Well, Tim tried to take a short cut - and rolled his. Instead of hunkering down and letting the cage keep him safe, he stuck his arm out. Because he has strong muscles, it kept the arm from being broken. He sprained the elbow and fractured a piece of the bone. The Dr. he saw in Wilmington put him in therapy - which helped to get him back to about 90%, but still had pain, and no full range of motion.
{{Fast Forward to Today}} We went to the specialist, he took a new X-Ray, and saw that Tim's arm has not gotten worse (thank God). He has a few bone spurs, but not anything to worry about right now. Instead of doing surgery, and risking the issue getting worse, Tim got a cortisone shot, and is getting a special geared brace to help stretch his arm back out. We are waiting for insurance (his drags their feet, but have to accept/deny before my insurance works on it) and then will have to pick up the brace and start using it. We don't know how much it will cost, but hopefully my insurance will pay most of it, and the rest will come out of the Flex Spending Account - since I no longer need it for getting pregnant! He will be doing at home therapy with the brace for 30-45 minutes every morning and night. We go back in September for followup, and hopefully he will have better range of motion, and less pain.

Is this a craving?

2009-06-09T20:30:00.000-04:00

I was just sitting at work, minding my own, and all of a sudden it hit me....I NEED SOME SORT OF SUGAR CANDY!! I would have killed for a Jolly Rancher, SweeTart, or Warhead. Luckily someone in my area had some Laffy Taffy. It didn't hit the spot, but it was close.

Also, I have been sleeping like the DEAD, but yet I am still TIRED!! I didn't think it would hit me so quick. I've been reading the books, and it does say that you are tired during the 1st and 3rd trimester, but sheesh! I guess it is my body's way of telling me to slow down. I tend to have a problem with that - I inherited it from my mom.

Well, it is 8:30 and I am pooped. Tim is in the shower, and then we are going to watch the Mentalist in bed so if I fall asleep it will be ok.

g'night
♥ J & Lil Bean ♥

VGNO FRIDAY!!

2009-06-05T19:43:00.002-04:00

It has been a while....... but time for the Virtural Girls Night Out (VGNO)

Guys are welcome too!

Our hostess for all the fun is Ann at Ann Again...and Again where we do some great blog hopping, make new friends, and just have some great fun.

**I'm sorry this is kinda short. I wanted to stop by and say hi, and then I gotta get to the Scrapbook. My cousin's party is tomorrow, and I am a few pages short to finishing the book**

Have a great night!!

♥ J

Woes of the Pregnant Picky Eater...

2009-06-04T19:18:00.005-04:00

I thought I was a picky eater before......sheesh!! When Metformin came into my life (PCOS) My eating choices went down a bit. But man, this kinda sucks (but in a good way-for a good cause). I can only really eat an Egg for breakfast, Subway (chicken bacon ranch with lettuce and ranch), Wendy's Chicken Nuggets, Potatoes, Pretzels, Mac-N-Cheese, Green Beans (mine - from the garden with bacon bits and onion flakes) and Ice Cream -Thank you ice cream for making the upset belly go away!! Sometimes I can do a pork chop or piece of chicken - but I have to be in the mood for it, and not eat too much. I am a country girl, and we butcher our own beef. Well, I fixed a steak a few nights ago, and could only eat half....HALF!!! and it was a small one. But, yet, we go to Longhorn - and I can eat the whole dang thing. I know it is because our beef tastes different (home grown - no hormones- talked to by Gpa Brown, etc) but I didn't think it was THIS DIFFERENT!!! Gah! I hope this passes soon, or else we won't be getting anther half next year. The one good thing is that I haven't had to worship the porcelain god yet....so that is a plus.

It also doesn't help that when I get hungry....I GET HUNGRY!!! and it hits me quick too. I can just be sitting there, doing my work, and all of a sudden I am starving and can't wait to go home and eat! But when I do eat - I fill up really fast. Thank goodness Tim is having my 'eating-for-2' sympathy pains, or else I would have gained 30 lbs by now.

On the weight front, haven't gained anything - actually I have lost 2lbs. It is really nothing to worry about. Dr. said pregnant women with PCOS tend to lose more weight in the beginning of pregnancy because all the extra fat stored from the insulin resistance are starting to be burned up. He told me not to worry, and as long as I was eating enough, drinking enough, and taking my prenatals, I will be fine. Now if I get sickly looking, have weird symptoms and not getting a baby bump, then we will worry. Speaking of the baby bump, I know it is WAY to early, but it seems like some of the fat stored in other areas of my body have been migrating to my belly. It is already starting to stick out a bit more than it did before - to the point where I loosened my belt a notch. I think it is all in my head.

All in all, we are doing great. I can share another secret....just don't tell Tim - he may get embarrassed. You all know, from this post, Tim is not the most emotional guy out there. I had went and bought the bible for pregnancy (what to expect when expecting) and had been reading it before bed. Especially to find out what was going on development wise. Well, Tim would look at it some times, especially the pictures, and ask few questions. Well, when I was picking up my book, I came across another one. It is called "So you are going to be a dad". It is really funny, and actually wrote by a Dad (I kinda wanted to get it for him so I could read it). It is pretty short, only 208 pages - not very technical - so I thought it would be perfect for him and his personality. Tim tends to deal with the hard stuff by cracking jokes.

Well, we went to dinner on Wednesday, and he had been to Barns and Noble and picked up the book he thought I meant him to get (The Expectant Father). Which, is a bit longer, and is closer to the What to Expect book. I am hoping that he will read both of them, and be able to better understand why I am so crazy right now. A good sign is when I came out to the kitchen this morning, the stack of books on the kitchen table (thanks to my friend Lori) was missing the -So you are - book. I thought maybe I had misplaced it, but had a hunch that I didn't. So I looked in the one place Tim keeps his books that he is trying to read.....!!!TMI ALERT!!!......in the cabinet above the toilet. There it was, right on top, and ready to be read. So I am taking that as a good sign!!

Till Next Time!!

♥ J and the Lil' Bean ♥

Wanna Hear a Secret........

2009-05-29T20:54:00.003-04:00

Tim and I got a great Mother's Day Gift this year.......

Ok, so please don't be mad at me for holding the secret in for 19 days. It has been very tough. Due to complications of PCOS, Tim and I felt it was better to hold the news back until we saw the heartbeat (which we did today...more on that later).

So, as you know in this blog post you know that I took a test, and got a BFN. Well, bummed as I was, I never started. So I thought that something was wrong, meds didn't take, whatever. So I decided on Friday that I was going to have a crappy Mother's Day anyway, I should just take another test, get a negative, and call my Dr. on Monday.

Well, I woke up at 3:20 am on Mother's day and had to pee (really bad) and new that I couldn't hold it. So I got up, and went to the bathroom to take the test. I was putting the cap back on....and there were already 2 faint lines. So, I freaked, put the test on the back of the toilet, and went to stand in the kitchen for my full 3 minutes. I thought for sure that it was my sleepy eyes playing tricks. I got out to the Kitchen at 3:22am, and stood at the sliding glass door and prayed....HARD. It was a full moon out, and the entire back yard was lit up. At 3:25am, I went back to the bathroom, and looked at the test (like it was going to bite me actually - I'm so weird). I finally picked it up, and could barely see the two lines for my hands started shaking. So after a few breathing excercises, I put the test back down, and ran into the bedroom and jumped on the bed. I woke Tim up...something I should have known wouldn't go well....and told him in a rush 'I just took a test, and it came back positive. He said 'What' - in a sleepy, you are rambling kind of way. I said, a little slower, ' I took a test and it came back positive'. I was shaking by this time. He said, 'Great, lets go back to sleep.' My mouth was hanging open...like WTF!! Why aren't you excited. But, I layed back down and tried to go back to sleep anyway. Tim isn't one to show his emotions....but he did write the positive test on the calender - so I am taking that as excited.

Well, the next two weeks were full of blood tests, medicines, and nasuea. I had 3 blood tests:

5/11/09 HCG 668 Progesterone 12 - Confirmed Pregnancy
5/14/09 HCG 1960 Progesterone 19.5 - 200 MG Prometrium Perscription
5/21/09 HCG 10370 Progesterone 35.2

**Will continue on 1700 mg Metformin for now.

So numbers are going up, food is getting harder to go down....so everything is doing good.

Today we had our first Dr. Appt where we had an ultrasound, and got to see and hear the heartbeat.

So Tim and I got to see our little bean....my cute little nudger. Heartbeat was 150 bpm which is on the low side of average. However, Tim's mom said that his heartbeat was 150 bpm, so it looks good. My estimated due date is Jan 10th 2010 so that makes me about 7 weeks and 6 days along. Continued prayers for Me, Tim, and our little bean to be health, and deliver safely would be appriciated. I haven't cried yet (and Tim isn't Mr. Emotional as established earlier) so I don't think it has really set in. I mean, sure, I have a picture, but it may not hit home till I feel movement.

For all my TTC friends, I wanted to take the time to say that I understand if you are unable to frequent my blog anymore. I know how I felt when others were getting prenant, and I was left on the side line. If you want to visit, and see how we are doing, that is fine, but if it is too hard, I will understand. I will continue to pray for each and every one of you that you will have a little bean of your own.

♥ J

Awards

2009-05-20T21:01:00.002-04:00

Well, I have received 2 more awards.

Thank you very much to Michelle for the lovely blog award

and Mzzlily for the most wonderful favorite award.

I am suppose to pass them on, but I don't really have time right now. My back is bothering me a bit, and need to go lay on the floor and stretch out. Sorry!! But I really appriciate it!!

♥ J

Garden is in!!

2009-05-20T20:30:00.012-04:00

Well...garden is in. My dad had used a plow to break up the ground last Monday.

My FIL Ray came over on Sunday afternoon with his tractor and worked the ground up nicely. I gotta get me one of these some day. Forget that walking-behind-the-tiller crap we use to do.

So once Ray had it all nice and worked, he helped put the fence posts in with the bucket of the tractor - a lot easier than using the post hole driver. Once those were in, Dad was here, and he pretty much took over the garden. Kinda weird not me and mom, but whatever.

Mom got here later, and was picking out the weeds from the gate to the garden.

Tim was even trying to help. He was the Marker Man. He would put the stakes in the ground so we know where the rows are.

So when all is done, the electric fence is up to keep the deer out, the chicken wire to try and keep the rabbits out (they ate a good chunk of my green beans last time.).

Mom also got the thistles out of the flower beds....she is so good at that!! Hopefully I will grow up to be like her someday :)

I ♥ love ♥ it when I don't have to wear shoes!!

♥ J

Busy times on the Robinson Homestead!!

2009-05-11T19:38:00.003-04:00

Well, with the rain last week, my Mom and I weren't able to do our Mother's Day Garden Work on Sunday. On Saturday I cut the grass REALLY short (2 in, low as it could go) so Grandpa would know how big of a garden we were doing. He came over today with the plow and worked the ground up. It is going to be about 50X60. It isn't going to be full, cause we need room so I don't shock myself on the electric fence. So far, we are doing Green Beans and corn as usual. I think we are going to do bell pepper plant? and possibly a tomato plant. Don't really need a bunch, cause still got tons of juice from a few years ago. But some of the recipes I have been looking at takes crushed tomatoes, but we will see. I'm trying to branch out on what I cook, getting kinda bored, but it is easier to cook things that are quick, easy, and plain. I'm a picky eater, so we will see how it goes.

Mom and I should be working on the Garden this Sunday, so I will try to get some pics and post them for everyone to see.

♥ J

Tag...your it

2009-05-08T21:26:00.002-04:00

I have been MEME tagged by Lily.

I am suppose to respond and rework. Answer the questions on your own blog, replace one and add one question. Tag 6 people, more or less. And here we go!

What are your current obsessions? TTC, Twilight, Harry Potter, and You tube/Vlogbrothers

Which item from your wardrobe do you wear most often? do comfy clothes count? as soon as I get home, the shoes go off, the 'girls' go free, and comfy clothes go on.

Last dream you had? bad one...Hubby was choking...he was actually doing his weird breathing out/snore type thing. Scares me everytime. I hate it when he gets on his back.

Last thing you bought? Ipod Touch. My MP3 player I listen to everyday at work died, and I still had the 2 year replacement warrenty, so I sent in the broken on in, and they sent me a gift card for the purchase price, and I got my new one!! SCORE!!

What are you listening to? MIB the movie

Favorite holiday spots? Helping the kids open their gifts! I love the smiles on their faces.

Reading right now? Inteview with the Vampire...isn't as interesting as I remember.

Four words to describe yourself. creative, helpful, loving, honest

Guilty pleasure? Schwan IceCream

Who or what makes you laugh until you’re weak? Hubby

Best spring thing to do? opent he windows for the first time!!! love the fresh cool air

Favorite drink? ice tea-made by mom.

Dream vacation? private beach house, relax, no one around, but able to jump in a boat and head into town for some site seeing.

Favorite ever film? Oh goodness....don't make me pick

Care to share some wisdom? eh...don't know

Song you can't get out of your head? nothing right now....kinda tired

Something you are looking forward to? two pink lines...hopefully sooner than later.

What is the strangest thing you have ever eaten? not a big 'strange food' eater. Steak and potato please.

One wish? start a family

How long have you been with the love of your life? 10 years this november, married for 6 in sept.

And I am tagging ...
anyone that wants to do it. Just make sure to leave me a comment so I can come visit your Meme.

♥ J

VGNO Friday!!!

2009-05-08T18:48:00.004-04:00

Alright Ladies....time for the Virtural Girls Night Out (VGNO)

Guys are welcome too!

Our hostess for all the fun is Ann at Ann Again...and Again where we do some great blog hopping, make new friends, and just have some great fun.

Now for Ann's question for the night..

Have you ever had one of those visions of walking into a room and everyone is staring at you and you realize you tucked your skirt into your underwear? OK now, have you ever actually DONE something like that? Or anything along those lines? Come on now, share :->

I have had the FEELING that everyone is looking at me, but I have never really done anything like that. {{knocking on wood}}

Don't forget to head over to Jam's page for more fun!! Her question is 'What ride would you do at Disneyland?

I would do the Jungle Cruise. Like to just sit back and watch the animals and scenes.

Have a great night!!

♥ J

BFN....again.

2009-05-04T19:06:00.003-04:00

Well, took the test today. Unfortunitly I will not be celebrating Mother's Day this year.

Reading some of the other TTC blogs, I found that I also tend to have 'benchmarks' for ' this could be the month'. I thought for sure I would find out I was going to be a Mom right before Mother's Day, and be able to tell my Mom on Mother's Day. She would be one of the first ones we tell just because she is my nurse, and I call her everytime I start getting sick, hurt, or have questions. Sorry everyone else reading this. Tim and I haven't decided how we would actually tell everyone - we do know it will be Family First, than Friends and Online Friends. It is only fair! Anyway, there was a baby dedication at church on Sunday, which had Tim and I talking about it on the way home from his Dad's house.

What is interesting is that I didn't fall to pieces this time. I was a lot calmer than normal, which is good. I don't know if it is because of all the extra prayers I have been getting, or if I am just getting use to the BFN's (big fat negatives).

So, now just waiting for Aunt Flo to come so we can start over. Don't know if they are going to change anything during this next cycle. Will keep you all posted.

Thanks
♥ J

Happy VGNO!!!

2009-05-01T20:44:00.008-04:00

Alright Ladies....time for the Virtural Girls Night Out (VGNO)

Guys are welcome too!

Our hostess for all the fun is Ann at Ann Again...and Again where we do some great blog hopping, make new friends, and just have some great fun.

Now for Ann's question for the night..

Have you ever brought something to a Pot Luck only to see that no one was eating it?

Fortunitly....{{knocking on wood}} I have not hat this problem. Most of the time, people call me ahead of time requesting me to make certain things. I even had a friend that wanted to know if I would cook a few meals when we went to visit to them, just cause they missed my meals. I am no chef, I just make comfy food that is hearty and makes you feel loved!!

Don't forget to head over to Jam's page for more fun!! Her question is 'Who would you like to see in Concert?

For me, it would be a toss up - I would spend half the concert with Ali watching:

Jason Aldean

And the rest of my time with:

Keith Urban

{{Sigh}} Can someone get them to tour together!!! PLEASE!!!

Anyway, got a busy weekend again, so gotta get to blog hopping and make it an early night.

♥ J

Attitude of Gratitude Award

2009-04-27T20:36:00.002-04:00

Whooo. It has been an award-winning weekend. Sheesh!

I was presented with this Attitude of Gratitude award from Ali at The Blessed Country Mom

1. Put the logo on your blog or post.
2. Nominate at least 10 blogs that show an Attitude of Gratitude.
3. Link to your nominees within your post.
4. Comment on their blogs to let them know they've received this award.
5. Share the love and link to this post and the person who nominated you for this award. Tell us how you've come to have an Attitude of Gratitude.

Thank you, thank you thank you to all my bloggy friends. My blog follow list gets longer and longer the more I am on here, and I enjoy ever minute of it. I really appricate all the kind words and support I receive when it is needed, and the funny comments when I am CrAzY!! And if anyone reading my blog comes across another blog that you feel I would enjoy, please let me know!! I love meeting new friends!

So now I pass this award on to:
Lily

Patti

Jessica

Michelle (I just started following you, but the posts that I have read are GREAT!)

Charmine

Ok, so I didn't do all 10, but I need to run!

Sorry!

♥ J

My first blog award before my first blog award.....

2009-04-26T20:13:00.003-04:00

Ok, so I stated a few days ago that I got my first Blog Award from Lilly. However, Ali had tagged me for an award and I missed the post!!! SORRY SORRY SORRY!!! So now onto my 1st blog award before my first blog award.

I am supposed to tell you about 7 of my favorite things:

1. Tim (Hubby) . I married my high school sweetheart on 09/27/03. As Garth Brooks said " Two of a kind....working on a full house" We are hoping to add to our family anytime now, however PCOS has kept us from that goal, but with meds and Dr. assistance, hopefully we will have that 'full house' soon

2. My family. I love that my family is a bit on the crazy side. I love that my mom, aunts, and uncles are all their own people, and just love to hang out. I love learning from my grandparents, and spending time with them.

3. Our home. I love that we have our 5 acres of land that our (someday) children will be able to run, play, and use their imagination. No worries of strangers, being to loud, or bothering our neighbors.

4. Crafts - Scrapbooking and digital media. Anything that can capture memories, or make someone smile, I love to create it.

5. Photography. I spent a few years in front of the camera as a model, so being behind the camera is great. Just gotta get some things to take pictures of, and I will be all set.

6. Cooking: I am a bit of a picky eater, however I love cooking, baking, and grilling. Good thing my hubby likes to eat!! I love kitchen gadgets, and so does hubby (even though he doesn't cook!) Hopefully some day I won't be a so afraid to eat new things.

7. Reading. Especially during the early summer when I can have the windows open, the birds chirping, nice breeze blowing and lose myself in a good book.

Now I have to choose 7 blog friends to pass this award on to.

1. Lilly

2. Jessica

3. Melissa

4. Frak

5. Stephanie

6. Lucy

7. Patti

Now go pay it forward my Kreativ friends! Thanks again to Ali for the award, even though I missed it!!

♥ J

Blog layout

2009-04-26T18:47:00.002-04:00

FINALLY!!!! I have been working on this for a few hours, and finally got it up. the layout on my page was made BY ME!!! Now I need to go and make supper and get away from this computer screen before I go cross eyed.

♥ J

Technical Difficulties

2009-04-26T10:57:00.002-04:00

Sorry about that!! Seems that templates from PYZAM.COM don't allow people to leave comments. I have reverted back to a basic one, and just need to sit down and design my own I guess.

Thanks
♥ J

Busy Busy Busy....

2009-04-25T21:35:00.003-04:00

So, another productive week. This week, we had Baby Dancing Monday night, Tuesday Morning - and Tuesday night for good measure :) Had a Pampered Chef Party at my cousin Dawn's house on Wednesday (and making my wallet $120 lighter...Thanks Dawn), Thursday my friend Jessica had her baby girl. Madilyn Virgina...such a cutie. Friday we went and saw Tim Hawkins at the Beavercreek Nazarene Church which is the same church Tim and I were married in. However, the santuary looks nothing like it did when we were there. They have painted the stage area black, and have a biq sound and production area with lights and all kinds of stuff. Looks more like an auditorium than a church....really weird. Anyway, he was really funny, and had me in tears half the time. On Saturday, Me, Tim, Pam (Tim's Mom) and Phil (Tim's Step Dad) went to the Reds game. Needless to say, we left after the 7th inning due to crappy game, too much sun, and empty bellies. So we had supper at Pam&Phil's house, then we headed home. Now we are nursing the sunburn, and enjoying the cool basement. Hubby is more burnt than I am, however I forgot to put sunscreen on my chest and neck, so got a bit toasty in those areas. Everything else got a nice base before camping Memorial Day Weekend.

Hope everyone had a great week, and hopefully mine will slow down a bit so I can catch up on sleep!!

Have a great night
♥ J

My first Blog Award

2009-04-25T20:25:00.004-04:00

Imagine my suprise when I read my comments today and found out I had been given NENO's AWARD!

Thank you to Lily at http://www.lillianrobinson.com for giving me this award. Even though she is hubby's step-mom, it is still nice to be commended for your work.

The aims of this award:
1)As a dedication for those who love blogging and love to encourage friendships through blogging.
2)To seek the reasons why we all love blogging.
3)Put the award in one post as soon as you receive it.
4)Don't forget to mention the person who gives you the award.
5)Answer the award's question by writing the reason why you love blogging.
6)Tag and distribute the award to as many people as you like.
7)Don't forget to notify the award receivers and put their links in your post

Anyway, I started this blog originally to share my story with family, friends, and learn to deal with the emotional roller coaster that goes with having PCOS and Fertility Issues. I love to blog, I just seem to think that I don't lead an interesting enough life to really blog about. I am learning that everything you do is worth something, or you wouldn't be doing it in the first place, and to find reasons in everyday things.

So on to the people I will be passing this on to:

First to Ali at http://theblessedcountrymom.blogspot.com. She is a girl that I went to school with, and I have learned so much from. She is a wonderful mother, wife, and women. I hope one of these days I will be able to use some of the tips and tricks she has shared in her blog.

Next to Alicia at http://yayastuff.blogspot.com/. This girl has been there, and done that. I love reading her blogs, and learning from her every day.

To Patti at http://builtclosetotheground.blogspot.com/ I give this award to you because you are a great woman, mother, and Grandmother. When things get tough, you keep on trucking!! Not to mention you are the only woman I would let my husband call 'Suga Momma'!!

Anyone of the blogs that I currently follow, but did not do this award to, I'm sorry. It is not that I don't enjoy your blogs, it is just that I am only starting to get to know you. Hopefully I will pass on another award in the future to you.

~*Blessings*~
♥ J

Hey!! How U Doin'

2009-04-20T20:07:00.004-04:00

Well, we had a fun weekend...kinda. Friday night we had a Spaghetti dinner for Special Olympics hosted by the Brothers at the Sabina Lodge. We typically go to their Breakfast every first Saturday of the month. They LOVE Tim! They even have peanut butter waiting for him to smother on his pancakes {{Ugh -Gross}}. So we went to have dinner, and they made sure to make another plate 'To Go' cause 'He is a growing boy and needs his food'....gah.. they sound like his Grandma! Oh well. Kept me from making supper on Sunday.

After Lodge, I tried to 'Roll' the yard with Grandpa Browns roller (that is older than me and Tim put together I think!) and we couldn't keep it running. I would finally get it going, back out of the garage, and it would die in the driveway. So Hubby, being the strong man he is...PUSHES the roller up the incline - to the flat part of the driveway. We finally get it started again, I do one swipe with the roller, and it dies......I give up. Hubby comes and pushes it from the side yard to the horse trailer where we load it up. We call Grandpa and tell him he can come hook up to the horse trailer and take it back home...I'm not messing with it any more.

So the rest of the night is spent on the couch with hubbs and doing the VGNO!!

Saturday, Hubby had to get up and go to work (8 hrs OT baby!!) So I got up, and mowed the yard (I ♥ my mower) That picture is from last year...and not very flattering!! I have those protective ear things on, but they are cool!! You can hook them up to your MP3 player, and rock out!! Makes cutting the grass more fun. Just gotta remember not to sing or dance too much, people look at you like you are crazy!! Well, I am very particular how I cut my grass. I mow it a different direction every time. This time happen to be left to right, which is the hardest on me.

After I got done mowing around noon, I took a shower, and got ready to go to a Birthday Party for my 4 year old cousin. That was fun, had some cake and ice cream. Didn't over do it {{pats own back}} and drank plenty of water to counter balance the sugar. By the time I got home, Hubby was home, and he got in the shower. He was pooped from work, so we spent the rest of the night on the couch - where I finished my book. By then, my back was in full revolt mode!! Needless to say, I didn't sleep much that night.

Sunday morning, we got up, went to church, and then spent the ENTIRE day on the couch. I could barely move. Tim made fun of me cause I read over half of another book in the few hours prior to my parents getting here. {{Re-Reading Interview with the Vampire - Ann Rice. Going to try and make it through the entire series.}} Tim was on laundry detail, and I helped as much as I could.

Mom and Dad came over about 6 for supper. Mom had to give me my shot, so we did that, and then I finished supper. Roast, dumplings, and mashed potatoes!! My speciality. After that, we had movie time! My parents only own 6 DVDs (4 of which I have bought them) so they like to come and watch movies at our house. So we watched I Now Pronounce you Chuck and Larry, and laughed!!

After that, it was 10pm, so Mom and Dad left, and we went to bed. I know what you are thinking...10 pm!! what are you .....80? Well, hubby gets up a 4:30am, and I get up at 6 - so I need my beauty sleep!! I am so tired all the time, and once you subtract the few hours worth of time it takes me to A.) fall asleep and B.) cool down from having hot flashes in the middle of the night, I don't get a lot of sleep.

So all ~n~ all it was a good weekend.

Hope everyone enjoyed theirs!

~*J*~

VGNO!!! I'm Cookie Anitacocktail

2009-04-17T20:48:00.004-04:00

It's that time again. Happy Friday to all...and Happy VGNO to all my online friends!! Virtural Girls Night out is hosted by Ann at Ann Again...and again where you have a night of blog-hopping, and get to meet all kinds of new friends. So if youa re interested in joining the fund, head over to Ann's page to get started.

Time for our party game:

Librarian Alter Ego

If your first name begins with letters A - E, your first name would be: Bubbles. Follow the chart to see what your Librarian's Alter Ego name is.
First Name=
A - E: Bubbles
F - J: Cookie
K - O: Pepper
P - T: Honey
U - Z: Pebbles

Last Name=
A - E: Featherbottom
F - J: Ivanabee-Queen
K - O: Rhea-Listik
P - T: Anitacocktail
U - Z: Mona-Lott

I am Cookie Anitacocktail!!!
What is YOUR librarian alter-ego?

Hope everyone has a great night!!!
♥ J

Dr. Appt Update

2009-04-16T19:40:00.002-04:00

OK, so I had a CD13 ultrasound today. Lining looks good, and turns out I have follies on the LEFT side. This is the slacker side....hasn't produced anything in the past cycles. Anyway, so I am getting my shot this Sunday night, and then its baby dance time!! Hopefully this will be the cycle that something happens. I know that my hotflashes are really bad this time, so hopefully that means something good!!

Also, my friend Jessica from work...she is REALLY PREGGERS!! She had a Dr. Appt today, and is dilated to 4, so I think she is going to go this weekend!! So prayers for her to have a safe delivery.

Well, it is Thursday, so we got Smallville and CSI, so I am off to watch TV with hubbs.

~*Later*~
♥ J

Busy Weekend!!

2009-04-11T14:36:00.003-04:00

Ok, so normally I post a vlog on Saturday, but it doesn't look like I am going to have time. Hubby and I got in later last night....had dinner and a movie. Hubs wanted to see Fast and Furious....and I did too, so we went. the only downside to watching the movie....hubby bored me with 'car talk' the whole way home. I don't know what a 'turbo blah blah blah' or any of that crap is. I just know that the car looked nice.....sheesh! Oh well. It was a fun night, and then we came home and I tried to do my VGNO...until my DSL Modem started freaking out. So if I didn't make it to your page last night, I'm sorry!!! Hopefully I will have better luck next time.

As for today, Hubby is going to the grocery...I hate going...but he doesn't mind. And I am STILL working on Miss Sequoya's scrapbook. The stack of pictures are getting smaller, but my creative wheels are kinda rusty, so it is taking me longer than normal to get the pages done.

My parents are going to meet us here @ 5pm, and then we are heading into Xenia to eat some pizza. After getting a bite to eat, we are heading to the Dayton Dragon's Game!! Whoot!! Tim got 4 tickets for like $40 from his union meeting. Last time my parents went to the game, it was raining and nasty out. so it should be fun. I am going to make sure I get a pretzel this time. It was too hot last time we were there, and I missed out.

We have the regular busy Easter Day. Church service at 9am, Lunch with Grandma and Grandpa Brown, Mom & Dad, Uncle Phil and his fam. Then, once I am stuffed.....we gotta go to Grandma & Grandpa Cramer's, and all that family (like around 40 or so kids, parents, and in betweens like us) will continue to stuff ourselves silly, and then watch the kiddies have a Easter egg hunt, and hopefully see the Easter Bunny. I will try to post pictures later this week.

Hope everyone has a good Easter Weekend. Try not to eat too much candy!!

~*Jessica*~

VGNO!!!

2009-04-10T17:54:00.002-04:00

It's FRIDAY!!! Time for Virtual Girls Night Out hosted by Ann at Ann again....and again.

As for Ann's Question.....What Easter candy do you just have to have?....I am not a big candy person.....but I love the Easter Shaped Sweetart candies....bunnies, and eggs......love it.

I gotta make this short cause hubby and I are going to dinner and a movie, so I will be doing my blog hopping later tonight. Anyway, head over to Ann's page and start the fun.

C-y'all Later
~*Jessica*~

WTF! Just a thought!

2009-04-07T19:14:00.002-04:00

Ok, so after driving all over Fairborn to get my RX filled for my shot, I finally got it. Kroger didn't have it in stock, and it was on 'backorder'?!?! ok, whatever. So they found it at the Walgreens up the street. However it is $11 more expensive at Walgreens. So I just paid $58 to hopefully ovulate this month.

Total I have spent:
7 days of 150 mg Clomid - $41
30 days of 1700 mg Metformin - $4 (ROCKS!!)
Novule (1 ml) $58.
Total $103!!
If it works....will mean years of priceless memories.....

Now, explain to me why a 65 year old man could get meds partialy paid for to get a boner, but I can't get any help with making a baby. You would think the making baby would make them more money than giving an old dude a woody!! A baby would mean more money paid to the company, more premiums, etc. Giving an Grandpa a Boner just increases his chances of dying from a heart attack, which would mean no money, premiums etc.

ok, I'm off to eat something now that this is out of my brain!

~*PEACE*~
♥ J

Green Light means GO!!

2009-04-06T20:03:00.003-04:00

OK, so had my first ultrasound of the cycle today. Dr. said we can consider this day 3. Something about being late in the day when I started, and stuff like that. Anyway....after waiting 4-EVER to get a call saying when I could come in, and jacking up my work schedule, I was finally sitting on the table - sayin my prayers. The Dr comes in, talks to me about the previous cycle and any issues....then I 'assume the position'. She checks my lining - nice and thin like it should, checks the R ovary first (The one that had follicles ready last cycle, and where the Cyst hung out 2 cycles ago) ::Started holding my breath:: - same normal cysts (ie small). Go to the Left Side - the bad ovary - same normal cysts, nothing to worry about. ::Start breathing again::

So, I get the ALL CLEAR from the Dr, schedule my follow up for next Thursday to see if we got jumpers at the door. I call my pharmacy to get my refill - they were able to get me the clomid - but I gotta go back tomorrow to pick up my shot - didn't have it in stock.

So, thank you for all the prayers to begin the cycle, now we just hope things work out, and pray that something 'sticks'. Hopefully there will be 2 pink lines by this time next month! Trying not to get my hopes up to high, but a little wishful thinking doesn't hurt.

Until next time....

~*J*~

4 4 09 vlog Part 3

2009-04-04T20:39:00.001-04:00

This part is about TTC (trying to conceive), VGNO (Virtural Girls Night Out) and my many Thanks!!

Ali's blog: http://theblessedcountrymom.blogspot.com

4-4-09 vlog Part 2

2009-04-04T20:36:00.002-04:00

Part 2 - About Vlogbrothers and John Green's books

Vlogbrothers: http://www.youtube.com/user/vlogbrothers

4-4-09 vlog Part 1

2009-04-04T20:36:00.001-04:00

So I did a vlog today, and as usual, I rambled. So it is in 3 parts. This one is mainly about my Twilight obsession and a gift from my friend Brandi.

My very first VGNO!!

2009-04-03T20:46:00.004-04:00

Ok, so ali invited me to the Virtual Girls Night Out, and I have no idea what I am doing, but I am trying to make the best of it! I am trying to get a hang on this blog thing, and jumping in with both feet!!!

Any tips and tricks from other VGNO's would be helpful....pretty please!!

If you wanna try it, head over to ann's page to start

♥
J

Negative......story of my life.

2009-04-02T19:25:00.003-04:00

**Kinda went on a Rant....Sorry So Long**

Ok, so for those of you that have been following my cycles, you know that 4/1/09 as suppose to be my day to test. Well, woke up on the 1st, and didn't have to go to the potty - for the first time in I don't know how many years. Kinda weird. Anyway, so I didn't take a test. Anyway, Hubby and I talked about it last night, and he didn't want to know this morning, he wanted me to wait to tell him after work. He didn't want to go to work either disappointed, or too happy, to keep his mind on what he was doing that day. (dont want another shot to the nose with a pole - long story).

So, I hung out in bed for a few extra minutes, and went to take it after kissing him goodbye. In times past when I took a test, I couldn't help myself, and would watch the test change. I put the cap on, placed it on the back of the toilet, and got in the shower. When I got out and toweled off, then I looked. NEGATIVE....GAH!!! Honestly, just give us a break already!!

This negative was a bit harder to take. My cycle had been much different than the other ones. My emotions were more 'out-of-control' and I just FELT different, especially the past week (tenderness, exhausted all the time, etc). I tried not to think anything about it, but when it has been this long, you can't help but to have your mind wonder over to that side of the stick. I am a bit past the crying when I see only one line on the dang thing (I kinda plan on it only having 1), but it isn't until later when I relize that in my mind, I was really counting on that second line - even though I told myself not to. Mainly I just get angry. Angry at myself - for being 'broken', pissed at the medicine for not doing its job, and yes - unfortunitly - I get mad at God for putting us through this. Tim and I are good people, we help anyone we can, we live our lives the best way we know how, and we still have this heart ache every month. Once I get past that, then I try to remind myself that eventhough I can't see why we have to go through this, it will make it that much sweeter when I do get those 2 lines.

Then it never fails.... I get to work, and hear about Ms. Yahoo's 17 year old daughter's pregnancy with her 2nd (different daddys-she''s not even graduated yet), Mr. Crabby saying his new baby is keeping them up all night, and he will love it when the kid can sleep all night cause it is driving him nuts (at least you have a cute little baby to keep you up at night). Mr. Whats-his face saying - 'Diapers are expensive, I'm not going to get to go on my trip this year because of it (I want to pay for those expensive diapers - but cant)..... Ms. whatever's son just got his girlfriend of like 3 mths knocked up, so they are going to get an apartment together.

Honestly, do Tim and I need to rack up our credit cards and be in debt up to our eyeballs? Do I need to start back up smoking and drinking again? Do we need to not be responsible, and right in the time that we are not able to care for the baby, that is when we get one? That is kinda what I am seeing out there in the world. I'm not going to, cause we are smarter than that, but that is what it seems like everyone else is doing.

I know people are just trying to comfort, but if one more person tells me that when I quit thinking about it, then it will happen - 'that's what happen to So-&-So' - I am seriously going off the deep end. So-&-So doesn't have PCOS. S&S does not have to count her days to make sure she takes meds on the right day. S&S doesn't need to call their Mom to give her a shot in the arse. S&S doesn't have to get probed at times that are really uncomfortable, embarrasing, and gross. S&S doesn't have 2 ovaries that look like 'Swiss Cheese' on an ultrasound (That is how the DR explained it). If there was nothing wrong with me, then that would be valid. But there is something medically wrong, and I can't just 'not think about it'.

Ok, I think that is enough ranting for now. I am not good with letting my true feelings come to the surface, but I am working on that. A bunch of ladies that are dealing with PCOS blog to vent the feelings they have, and sometimes it helps. So I am trying. I hope people don't think I am whining, but I am just going to try to be real.

Well, Tim and I went to Longhorn for supper, and are watching our Smallville and CSI tonight, so I better get off here so I can watch it.

♥ J

3 28 09 Vlog

2009-03-29T15:12:00.001-04:00

Sorry it is a day late. My laptop, camara, YouTube and I were all fighting last night! Anyway, I didn't really have anything to talk about, so I took you on a tour of the basement. Hopefully with the weather getting warmer, I will be putting up more videos, and posting more on my actual written blog.

Happy Birthday to my Mother in law today 03/29!!

What'cha doin'?

2009-03-26T18:59:00.002-04:00

Ok, so I guess I am not doing very well on this whole blog thing. Sorry! I never have anything to talk about....I live a dull life I guess.

Well, on the TTC front, as you know I had my shot on the 17th. Everything seems to be working the way it should. I had HUGE pain on that Thursday, so hopefully we actually had at least 1 egg release. Now, as long as Tim's little guys know where they are going**, we will hopefully have a little bean. If not, then we will be on to the next cycle.

**There is a joke that Tim says about his 'test' he got. He says that the test only made sure he had lots of strong dudes - not that they could swim straight. He says they could be swimming around in circles for all we know. The things he thinks about. I can only see the little 'Homer Simpson' dudes running into each other and saying 'Doh!**

Anyway, thanks for all the messages I got from the video blog. I promis I will post more, I just gotta get something to talk about, and get to the point that I can do it without editing the video. I'm such a dork when I am on the camara. I will try to do another one this weekend.

Well, talk to you all later
♥ J

Shots...and a horse trailer

2009-03-17T21:49:00.005-04:00

Well, got my HSG shot today at 6 PM. My mom enjoys inflicting pain entirely too much, and my cousin Tessa (who is 4 or 5 I believe-can't remember) watched her give me the shot. Mom told her I was going to cry, but I didn't. But I did get a Bugs Bunny Bandaid :) Anyway, start the clock!! 24 and 36 hours later, we will be baby dancing (I know, TMI, but whatever)

As for the horse trailer part, my parents are trying to sell the horse trailer with living quarters that they had when my brother was in Rodeo. If anyone out there knows anyone who is looking for one, please direct them to the craigslist posting.

http://dayton.craigslist.org/grd/1079860741.html

If they are interested, I have more pictures that I can show, or they can call Dad and set up a time to come and look at it.

Well, that's it. Going to bed now.

♥ J

03/14/09 Vlog

2009-03-15T18:03:00.001-04:00

This is my first official Vlog that I have posted. Sorry for the bad audio - gotta speak louder when I am doing this, and turn off my radio. Anyway, I talk about my recent visit to the Doctor in my fight against PCOS and trying to get pregnant. Also, I talk about the dinner my hubby and I are going to, my obsession with the vlogbrothers, and his Granmother's ring.

Links:
Vlogbrothers: http://www.youtube.com/user/vlogbrothers
My blog: http://countryfamilyrobinson.blogspot.com/ (obviously you have this since you are here)

03/14/09 Vlog continued.

2009-03-15T17:24:00.007-04:00

**Sorry for the confusion, I thought I could add this to the YouTube auto-post, but it messed up the video, so this is part 2**

BTW..pictures of Tim and I at the Dinner:

My Parents: My dad is the 2nd Vice President for the 'District'. Mom hates being brought to the center of attention, but they have to announce my dad, so they say Worshipful Brother Steve Brown and Lady Janet...tee hee...mom is a LADY. Excuse me while I roll on the floor laughing. I tried to take a picture when they were getting announced, but she told me to stick the camara somewhere that would not be good for me or pictures :)

Finally Friday!!!

2009-03-13T20:21:00.000-04:00

Well, made it through the week, and through my first day back in the call center. I went in early, but they had to get maintenance to fix my cabinet drawers, AND get me another set to hold all my stuff. So by the time the drawers got fixed, and the other one in place, it was about 9:30. However, I had to move things around a few times before I got it right. The new desk is smaller than the one I came from, so that was fun. I think I got it now though. The only down side is the noise. The walls on the desks are pretty much non-existent, so everyone's conversations can be overheard. The morning isn't too bad, but the afternoon gets a bit loud. No offence to the College Kids, but they are a bit loud. They come in around the time I go to lunch. I try to tune it out, but it is kinda hard right now. That, and the sound of the phones ringing (some are REALLY LOUD) and the 'ding-ing' of 'Calls in Que' both on the actual phones, and the Simon Board on the wall that shows the time, #of calls in each Que (Main and Loan) and time of longest call. When calls in Que are over the limit allowed, it Dings - Gahhhhh!!! Kills me. And it dings at every hour.

Anyway, I came in, stuck to myself, spoke when spoken to, and minded my own. I am doing everything I can to blend into the wall, and not bring attention to myself. I know they are waiting for me to say something, or to be up talking, but I really don't have any connection to most of the people around me, so I should be able to keep it up. 'The more you talk - you are obviously not that busy' - so I am going to keep the personal conversations to a minimum - cause lord knows I am busy most of the time.

Well, it is Friday, Tim and I went to Damon's for supper cause I didn't want to cook. Now we are hanging out in the living room, playing on the laptops and listening to music. I gotta get up tomorrow and head into Miami Valley for my day 13 probing to see if it is shot time. After that, we have a lodge dinner where we gotta dress up a bit. I will try to take a few pictures of us if I can talk Tim into it. he hates when I get the camera out. I am still planning on making a video blog this weekend, but I gotta do it when Tim isn't around cause he makes fun of me. Till then, hope everyone has a great weekend!

~*Jessica*~

Dr. Appt Update

2009-03-12T18:45:00.000-04:00

Ok, so I had my Dr. appt today. This was only day 11, so it wasn't enough days to really count for anything. They basically wanted to check and make sure the extra 2 days of clomid didn't do anything crazy. So, everything looks good so far, but I have to go back on Saturday morning at 9:15am to be probed again. So far so good.

Also...VERY GOOD NEWS!! I finally got to talk to the billing lady from the office about insurance. She decided to start sending in all the ultrasounds to insurance, and is working to get me my $402 back!!!! WHOO-HOOOO!! That means no more $134 visits!! This takes a big weight off our shoulders now. It is expensive enough to buy the meds, shots, and tests - but to take the visits off is great.

So, anyway, that is it on the BabyFront. Today was my last day at my nice quiet cube on the first floor. It was full of visits from nearly everyone I come in contact with on that floor, and even people that I haven't spoken with in a while. They were all wishing me luck, and were saying that they were sad to see me go. I took comfort in that, at least people are not glad to see me go. I start tomorrow morning in the Call Center at my not-so quiet partial desk/cube thing. Tomorrow I am going to go in early to unpack. Only had enough time to pack up today and move the stuff down. I still have to move my chair. They were moving my computer tonight. I will try to snap a pic so everyone can see what I mean.

Please keep Tim and I in your prayers for this cycle, and send some extra prayers my way while I deal with the transition at work.

Thanks!

p.s. ok, ok, ok, enough with the text messages, Myspace/Facebook comments - I will try to sit down and do a video blog this weekend, get it edited, and posted. Sheesh!! pushy much ♥ J

Work.....

2009-03-11T19:50:00.001-04:00

Now that it has been announced at work, I can finally say what is going on. For those of you that don't know, I have been without a 'real' manager since Nov of 2007. We were under the Webmaster (home banking, bill pay - etc - good choice right). Well, he left, and they never filled his position, so they shifted us to Member Support, who does Credit Cards, Direct Deposit, etc. That was all fine and dandy except we couldn't really have a lot of help when things got crazy, and had to utilize a wonderful woman as a manager - even though it was not her job. She was a life saver. In my department, I am the only full time person. The other girl that works with me only works in the afternoon (17 hrs week), which is after some of the stuff is suppose to be done for the day. So if I am in class (teaching or learning) no one is able to do our work except the wonderful woman I mentioned earlier. Well, for the past 6 months we have been told that we are going to go back to the IT department, so we will get the technical support we need, and then we would also get help.

Well, we were told on Monday that this was not going to happen. We are getting moved to the Member Help Center - which is the call center. For those of you that have known me for a while know that I use to be the loan processor for the call center, and by the time I left, it wasn't exactly 'in love' with everything going on. So, now we are going back down to the Call Center, and I am a bit scared. We have been told that our current duties are not going to change, and that I will be given assistance when things are busy, and help them take care of members when I am not there.

Unfortunately, I have heard that before, but I am hoping that they actually stick to it this time. I can't really do anything about the move, but I just have to roll with it. I can't quit - I need a job. So we will just have to see what happens.

So, I am asking for strength to get through this transition, and to keep my emotions in check. It has gotten worse the last few days - breaking down multiple times today at my desk - and I really don't like being emotional around people - so this is really hard. Anyway, any prayers for me would be helpful.

I will have updates on the PCOS/Cycle front tomorrow - got an ultrasound at 4.

Welcome to my new home!!!!

2009-03-08T15:34:00.001-04:00

OK, well, I have started it. I finally have a place to post all the crazy things going on in our life, and the crazy things that go running around my head on a daily basis. I will be talking about many random things during my rants on here but mostly it will be about our struggle with PCOS and our desire to have a family. Some blogs will be written, but I will also include some video blogs when I get the chance - which are very entertaining!!

Stay tuned!!